A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was far from perfect, and they got along very well, one day he rushed into a lawyers office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him.

The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions;

Have you any grounds?
Yes, an acre and a half and a nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
It made of concrete.

I don't think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?
No we have a carport, and not need one.

I mean, What are your relations like?
All my relations still in Poland .

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
No, I always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
I got proof.

What kind of proof?
She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put it on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say:

Polish Remover.