Seventeen pounds of beef, a big bag of flour, two pounds of cheese, one pound of bacon, a giant onion, portabella mushrooms, avocados, tomatoes, lettuce, mustard, ketchup, and pickles came together with fire and friends and some specially constructed cooking tools one day in June. Berto borrowed a big round fire box. Mike brought some grills and a thermocouple for monitoring the temperature within the burger. I found some scrap sheet steel in the garage and welded together a big round lid to cover the grill. I also made a turn-over fixture for flipping the burger and a steel ring to surround one of my big pizza pans to contain the creeping mass of dough while it rose in my oven. The buns barely fit and had to be baked separately; I sliced the top crust off one loaf to make the lower bun and took the bottom crust off a second loaf to make the upper bun.

We worked crushed garlic and barbecue sauce and egg into the beef, then grilled it slowly till cooked through. On the gas grill we browned the onion slices and added them to the burger with the bacon and lots of cheese, which melted and fused the toppings into a wonderful medley of flavors. When at last the top bun had been set in place and a giant toothpick was speared through the center, we took the monster to our specially constructed balance:

I bolted a sturdy hook to the ceiling in my apartment and hung a 2x4 timber from it, balancing a suspended wooden shelf hung at one end with iron from Sean's weight bench hung at the other end. Knowing the weights and measuring their position, we accurately measured the uncooked beef pattie (17 pounds) and the collosal finished burger: 29.75 pounds! Then came the eating, and more eating, ...and more eating. The room got quiet, people started to fall asleep, and just for a moment the world seemed absolutely perfect.